About Me

It has come to my attention that I may possibly have overlooked the whole "profile" part of using this blog to replace my other online profiles. My original intent was to not have to update my FanFiction, Twilighted, Twitter, MyVampFiction, etc. profiles every time I wanted to communicate something. I wanted one-stop shopping

But, like I said, I totes forgot to actually put any profile stuff up here. So, instead of putting any effort into it, I'm gonna cheat. Cos I'm like that. Here's the "Get to Know You" quiz I did on Facebook. But I left out the names of the innocent. Well...that means my daughter. Cos no-one else I know over ten is innocent. And even the six-year-olds are questionable...

This survey was completed in mid-August 2009.

1. Can you fill this out without lying?
Probably. How will you know though? Maybe I'm a good liar when I type.

2. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
A giant...coffee.
(Stop that! Naughty naughty...)

3. Who was your last text message from?
Jessica, my friend. <3
(I don't have many friends so I need to suck up to the ones I have.)

4. Where was your default picture taken?
You may not know this, but that’s not actually me.  I stole
that pic off the interwebs.
(This answer was changed for the blog, you know, cos my Facebook picture is an actual photo)

5. Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
Three girls ages 3-6. They talked about ice-cream, donuts, and weiners (the boy-kind, not the food-kind). My child, I'm SO proud to say, was the loudest.

6. Name someone that made you laugh today?
A woman in Twitter who posted about her husband freaking out their four-year-old by buying a duplicate of her favorite teddy bear and giving it button eyes, then switching them while she slept. If that doesn't make sense to you, watch Coraline. I'm STILL laughing!

7. How late did you stay up last night and why?
About 12:30. I wanted to stay up later but got tired. I was sad -- there was still much internet to read!

8. If you could move somewhere else would you?
Absolutely! I want to live in Vienna.

9. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Yes. But I was very, very drunk. Wait, what difference does that make?

10. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
My husband.

11. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
Absolutely. I'm friends with a few.

12. Calling or texting?
Texting. Calling is far too personal.

13. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper?
The guy who operated on my hand was named Dr. Pepper. I liked him.

14. When was the last time you cried really hard?
I cry on the inside all day long.

15. Where is your biological father right now?
Bellevue.

16. Where are you at right now?
At work. *waves at boss*

17. What bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine. Wow, I must be old -- my first thought was "where else would I be??"
...Then I remembered college.

18. What was the last thing someone bought for you?
Starbucks, probably.

19. Who took your profile picture?
See question 4.

20. Was yesterday better than today?
It's only 9:30 a.m., but so far, yesterday was better.

21. Can you live a day without TV?
Totally. I hardly ever watch it.

22. Are you mad about anything?
Constantly. Is it obvious?

23. Do you think relationships are really worth it?
*sigh*

Yes.

Maybe.

24. When was the last time you were disappointed and why?
I disappoint myself constantly. If you mean by someone else: About an hour ago.

**Breaking news!** Updated while re-reading -- make that two minutes ago!

25. Are you a bad influence?
More of a "negative" influence than a "bad" one. I pride myself on it.

Not really, I have no pride left.

26. Night out or night in?
In. Hands-down. That way no-one can see me cry.

27. What items could you not go without during the day?
My child...OK, coffee. Yes, I know my child isn't an "item".

28. Would you share a drink with a stranger?
Sure.

29. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
Can't even remember. Maybe Shane Redmond in Wellington, NZ after he drunk-drove his car into a ditch and smashed his jaw, I think. Holy crow, that was 15 years ago! But I did blend his food for him while his jaw was wired shut. Awwww... I'm a good friend.

30. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"Talking about the moon and how NA must have rehearsed 'one small step...'"

No, I didn't understand it either.

31. How do you feel about your life right now?
Meh.

32. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
Around 5. But they chased me down through a corn field in a dream the other night...

33. Do you hate anyone?
No. Well... people who hurt children. But that's not a specific person.

34. If we were to look in your inbox, what would we find?
Work or home? Work: 3282 emails I have yet to file. Mostly regarding things I need to do. Home: A bill, random to-do items, info on soccer practice, and a bunch of Facebook messages.

35. Can you easily tell if someone’s fake?
Yes. Well, most of the time. I can definitely spot the mannequins.

36. Has anyone ever called you a perfectionist?
Yes. But more often it's "control freak" or just "bitch".

38. What song is stuck in your head?
"I'm On My Way" by the Proclaimers. Because clearly I'm on my way to happiness today.

39. Someone knocks on your window at 2 AM, who do you want it to be?
Jasper Whitlock. Rawr! He can exsanguinate me any time.

40. Wanna have kids before you’re 30?
Too late. I was 29 and 3/4 when I had one.

41. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Be nicer to my child.

42. Can you whistle?
Hell yeah! It's the best. You know who *can't* whistle? My five year old. She thinks she can though, and goes "woo woo" in a high squeaky voice, then tells me she's whistling. Oh, and that guy from Madagascar 2 -- the lemur king guy.

43. Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back?
Side mostly then back some. What a stupid question.

44. Do you think too much or too little?
Mostly too little, maybe. Don't know, I need to think about it.

45. Do you smile a lot?
When I'm nervous. Right now, I'm not smiling. This survey is boring.

46. Who was your last missed call on your mobile phone?
Ugh...work. Stop stalking me, work people!  I send you to voicemail for a reason.

47. When is the next time you will see the person you like?
"The" person? Like high-school "I like you, tee hee" type of "like"? These questions are stupid.

48. Are you happy with your life?
No.

49. Can you handle the truth?
Sometimes, but most often not.

50. What book are you currently reading?
"To say Nothing of the Dog" by Connie Willis

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
LOL. Yes, Marc, I hate you.
(If you know me well, you'll know why this is funny).

52. Is there something you always wear?
My smile and pleasant attitude.

53. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Filling out this long-ass fucking survey.

54. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
My daughter. I heart her. Lots.

55. Did you have anything exciting last weekend?
"have"? Who the hell wrote this? Who cares? Do any of you people reading this care??! *I* don't even care and it's my life.

56. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yes. But I never crawled through a window and fell asleep in a child's bed. So I'm one step ahead of Robert Downey Jr.

57. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I'm not even going to answer that. These questions are officially retarded.

58. Are you wearing a necklace?
Yes, a pearl one. And not the kind that comes from the sea. Ugh.

59. What's something that can always make you feel better?
Cocaine.

60. Will this weekend be a good one?
Will it involve cocaine?

61. What do you want right now?
Cocaine.

62. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
I'm a girl. All girls have. This is lame.

63. Look behind you, what do you see?
More office, and a very bitter Proofing department.

64. Have you ever worked in a food place?
Yes, a grocery store, a fish & chip shop, and a pizza/pasta restaurant.

65. What would you name your future daughter?
I named my actual one already. Future ones are out of the question unless I found a new husband who hadn't had a vasectomy.

66. Any summer plans for 2009?
Yeah, to improve my attitude. Did it work?

67. What’s on your schedule for tomorrow?
Get up, do fucking everything, go to work, do fucking everything, come home, hear about how I haven't done enough. This questionnaire is depressing me.

68. Does anyone know your Facebook password?
Well, technically I haven't told anyone, but I'm 100% sure my husband would know it if he tried to log in. Which he wouldn't, because he's Facebook phobic.

69. Would you like some cake?
From The Erotic Bakery please. A giant wang cake. With shaved nuts. I love how that's question 69. OK, that made me smile.

For my actual bio, here's a little info.  Some is in that we boxy thing on the top right of the blog.

I'm a wife, mother (of one), web developer (a.k.a. "computer geek" or "programmer" or "web application developer", or ... fuck it, you get the point) and musician (I play bass and some guitar).

I'm also a Twilighted validation beta, as well as traditional beta to a few fuckawesome writers, including the ever-awesome GreenPuma, LittleYellowPorsche, and DiamondHeart.

Oh, and yes, my penname comes from the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon.  If I had my way, and lived in porn-world, I'd have a big room filled with me, Jamie, Roger, Edward, Jasper, Carlisle, and a few really hot (but totally natural) chicks.

30 minutes later...OK, back now.  Had to take a cold shower.  (Translation: Find new batteries).

Oh, and about my fics.  Well... I have some.  They are linked on the top right also.  Check 'em out.

Hugs,

SassenachWench