Sunday, November 29, 2009

Geek Love update delay

Friends, Romans, Fic-Fiends, lend me your ears. Er...your eyes. Whatever.

This is a super quick post to say, in essence, you won't get Geek Love this week.

[Insert sad droopy face]

Normally I try to post a chapter a week (if not two), but with family visiting for the past week, I haven't been able to get a lick of writing done.

On top of it, I'm finishing up a one-shot for Ninapolitan's Friday Free For All, co-authored by my partner-in-crime Green Puma.  Look for that on December 18th.

I expect a new chapter of Geek Love to be up on or around Monday December 7th.

In the meantime, I've extended the sneak peek at Geek Love Chapter the Twenty-first in the original post. Please enjoy.


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A Little Vamp Fiction Pimpage

My Vamp Fiction

A little pimpage for an awesome new fanfic project. is a new site encompassing all types of vampire and vampire-based fiction. Here are some sections, and descriptions of them from the site.

My Vamp Fiction is up & running with its fanfic "Dungeon", in addition to the message boards "Lair", and monthly features.
The Dungeon:
The Dungeon is an inclusive vamp fandom fan fiction archive for you to enjoy. You can find everything from Twilight fan fiction to House of Night, True Blood, The Vampire Diaries and more.
Read my stories on vamp fiction

The Lair:
Make sure to visit our forums, also known as the “Lair”. You will find discussion topics on everything ranging from Sookie & Bill, to the latest Twilight Saga Movie, to your favorite Black Dagger Brotherhood book. We encourage discussion, so we hope to see you there.

Monthly Features:
In addition to the Music/Book/Movie & Television reviews that we will be sharing at MyVampFiction, we also have a list of features that you can expect to see regularly on the website.
Please go, take a look around, read, review and most of all, enjoy!

Interview with Sarah from SYTYCW

This past weekend I was interviewed by Sarah from So You Think You Can Write. The interview is up! Read it now!

Here is a preview of the interview:

Sarah_E: Can you tell me how you came up with the idea for Geek Love?

SW: Yeah, thought it’s embarrassingly uninteresting. The opening scene of chapter one, “In Which There is a Battle” paints a fairly accurate picture of my cubicle at work. In Geek Love, Edward is a hotter, smarter, cooler, richer, and version of me. But with a penis. And did I mention hot?

Quite honestly I showed a shocking lack of imagination for this story. I’m beginning to think that’s my thing. People will whisper as I walk down the street, “Pssst…that’s the woman…did you hear about her? The doctors say she was born with no imagination! Can you imagine? Yeah, well, she can’t.”

Sarah_E: ::belly laughs:: I’m pretty sure all of us feel that way at some point, and I have to argue that I think it’s very creative, especially Bella’s love for the zombies.

SW: Thanks. It’s a geek thing.

Sarah_E: Gotta love the geeks. Geeks rule the world. I’m surprised more people don’t understand that knowledge.

SW: They do, they just won’t admit it.
Here's the link again:

Monday, November 23, 2009

Geek Love - Sneak Peek at chapter 21

Here is a sneak peek at chapter 21, as of yet untitled.  It will be the most citrusy chapter to date!

Had I been able to speak, I would have said yes.  As it was, I couldn't even nod.  I wanted her so fucking badly all I could manage was a soft whimper as her lips found mine again.

Somehow she found the strength to pull away, taking my hand as she turned and walked up the stairs.  Following behind her, my jeans feeling uncomfortably tight, I couldn't believe that this amazingly sexy, funny, smart woman was mine.  She loved me.  She wanted me.  She was equally tortured, equally maddened by me, and was letting me see that.

So.  Fucking.  Sexy.

My eyes never left Bella.

Without hesitation she turned to face me, about six feet of space between us, and pulled her t-shirt over her head

Holy Victoria's Secret, Batman!

I had seen Bella without her shirt on before, but never from any distance, and never so clearly. Shutting the door—just in case—I took a single step closer, reminding myself not to touch. My eyes never left her, roaming from her beautiful lips, slightly swollen and red from our kisses, to her flushed cheeks, wild hair, and then down to...gah! She was wearing a blue bra with white trim, her smooth flesh pushed up enticingly. Even through the bra I could see the hardened tips, the ones she loved for me to touch.

Don't. Touch.

Bella's face flushed deeper as I looked at her, and her arms started crossing over her chest, gaze beginning to rest on the floor. My staring was making her self-conscious.

“Bella,” my voice sounded odd even to myself. “Bella, I can't...I can't tell you...But Bella, please don't be shy. It's me. It's just me. I love you.”

Nodding once, she regained the courage that had gotten her this far, and ordered me to match her state of undress.

I've never taken my shirt off so quickly in my life.

Walking up to me, she ran her hands first up, then across my chest, starting on my abs, and ending on my shoulders, her eyes roaming over me as she chewed her bottom lip.

Women tended to like my chest for some reason—a girlfriend had once told me that girls loved swimmer’s bodies. It meant nothing at the time, but now, with Bella, I cared a lot what she thought.

Leaning in, she kissed my chest, softly running her lips across my skin, hands caressing where her lips did not. My breathing became embarrassingly erratic. When her lips encircled my nipple, and her hot tongue flicked out, laving it firmly, I actually gasped, trying desperately not to clutch at her head to get her to do it again.

But she did anyway, then again, chuckling at my repeated response.

Stepping back, she shocked the hell out of me by beginning to unbutton her jeans, slowly extricating each round fastener from its hole, before sliding the entire article down her hips, then off her completely. Her panties were a matched set with the bra, sitting on her hips and just barely covering everything else.

Her body was in-fucking-sane. She was slim, but had beautiful curves, rounded in all the right places.

In my experience, most women look better before you actually see them undressed. The vision in your head is always better. Bella was the exception.

Cocking an eyebrow, she stood in front of me expectantly. “Well? Are you going to stand there and gawk at me all day, or are you going to drop trou too?

Now it was my turn to get nervous. She had touched me—there—a few times now, but touching under the cover of clothing, or while, say, driving down a highway was one thing. Having her see me like this—fully exposed—was another, and slightly nerve-wracking. But she had been more than brave enough already. It was my turn.

Smiling nervously I began to remove my jeans, only to hear Bella chuckle before saying, “Edward, don't be shy. It's just me.” Her face grew more serious then, voice deepening just a touch as she added, “I love you.”

The truth of her words, the utter confidence she had about them, pushed all nervousness aside. We wanted each other. Nothing else mattered.

As I stood again, painfully erect and clothed in nothing but my boxer-briefs, she took me in as I had done her, slowly running her gaze over my entire form. I didn't fail to notice that her gaze lingered in particular areas longer than others, eyes widening at times, before moving on.

I wasn't paranoid about size, or anything physical. Truth is, for all my awkwardness and social retardation, I knew that I was fairly good looking and not lacking, physically. It wasn’t about that. My shyness came specifically from being with Bella. She was so fucking important to me, that exposing myself to her felt like I was risking something.

She took my hands in hers, leading me back to the bed.

But for now, enjoy chapter 20!


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Geek Love - The Geek List: Chapter 2

Geek Love Chapter 2: In Which a Door is Closed

The next afternoon, enjoying a quick nap at my desk – as I was wont to do – I missed her stealthy entrance.

“I need worms, Edward.”

Lifting my head from my slightly drool-dampened sleeve, I cracked open a single eye to see Bella – UX Goddess and Crushtastic Ego Destroyer – watching me intently.  This could only mean nap time was over.


I cringed.  There was verifiable evidence that I was an intelligent man – IQ tests showing me well above average – yet this woman was capable of reducing me to a monosyllabic idiot.

“Yes, worms.  I need some worms.  Can I use yours?  Bruce is hungry and I’m out.”

Worms?…Bruce?  I was trying desperately to make two and two equal four.  Bruce is her fish.  Realization dawned. Blood worms. She wanted to borrow fish food.  Jesus Christ was it so hard to process a simple request?

I pointed to the container of Hikari blood worms next to Chum’s bowl.  She took it, eyeing me carefully again.  I resisted the urge to check my nose for a stray booger, or massive pimple.  The girl looked for all the world like she wanted to say something, but instead, she just sighed, turned, and walked out.   Of course I kept watching her as she went into her own cube farm.   She was wearing her favorite “Zombies Were People Too” hoodie, feeding Bruce, singing to him in hideous gloomy bass-baritone.

Quite incidentally my fish eats Hikari blood worms!  I really need to stop writing at work.  I made Bella’s outfit a hoodie, but the inspiration came from this t-shirt.

"The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out; the ones that crawl in are lean and thin; the ones that crawl out are fat and stout; your eyes fall in and your teeth fall out; your brains go tumbling round your skull; be merry my friends, be merry..."

Pogues?  Anyone?

“Cullen, can you make the three o’clock?”  Newton’s irritating voice broke through my reverie.

Three o’clock…my mind raced.  UI review for the new interactive project. 

“Yeah.  Sure.”

“Great!"  Turning, he hollered over me in Bella's direction, "Bella?  You coming?  We have to go over the site map now.” 

I was displeased to discover that the fuckwadish quality to his voice increased exponentially in relation to its volume.

“Sure Mike.  I’ll print them out.  Meet you in your office in a few.”  As she turned to sit, intending to print her documentation, I cocked my six-shooter and totally fucking nailed her in the back of the head, the dart trying to bounce off her mass of brown hair, but getting caught in the curls.  I fived myself internally at my fan-fucking-tastic aim, but again the woman stole my thunder by not even turning around.   She had no reaction at all, other than slowly raising a single finger to me.

You can probably guess which one.


Bella returned about twenty-five minutes later from her meeting with Mike.  She seemed…deflated, somehow.  Tension rolled off her as she sat down at her desk.  No-one else around us seemed to notice, but then again, no-one else paid quite as much attention to Bella as I did.  Not that she knew.

I opened our idiotic corporate messaging app, IT having blocked the messaging port on our network.

>>EC: You OK?

>>BS: Yeah.

>>EC: Really?

>>BS: Yeah. 


>>BS: ...yeah.  It’s fine.

>>EC: Liar. 

>>BS: Asshat.

>>EC: Wanna talk about it?

>>BS: Nah.

>>BS: ...maybe.

>>EC: Can I tempt you with a Trifecta?

>>BS: Sweet baby Jesus!  Does the Pope shit in the woods?

I grew up thinking that’s how the saying went, because that’s how my mother always said it.  Thanks Mom.  Step slowly away from the crack pipe...

She was by my desk in less time than it took for me to lock my screen, and we went wordlessly to the kitchen together.  As we entered I waved her toward the tables with an exaggerated maĆ®tre d' arm motion.

“Sit, milady, and I shall serve.”

She raised an eyebrow at me, but said nothing.  Taking a seat at one of the empty tables, she watched as I worked.  Once it was ready, I placed the food on the table in front of her with a flourish.

We gave a moment of silence, contemplating the Trifecta before us. Two cups of steaming coffee – straight from the Fauxbucks insta-serve machine, a bowl of microwaved (now liquid) Hershey’s chocolate, and a plate of peanutbutter-filled cookie sandwiches.

Bella sighed deeply.  She always did when faced with the Trifecta, but this sigh had undertones of genuine tension.  Taking a cookie sandwich, she scooped an impressive amount of chocolate on to it.  Raising the devilish dessert to her mouth, her eyes closed in appreciation.

I thought of my grandmother.  And dead kittens.  And plane crashes.

Bella was upset about something, I knew that, but I was sitting here being an utter dick.  All I could focus on was the way her lips wrapped around that cookie, and her moan of pleasure as the chocolate hit her tongue.

Dead kittens.  Dead kittens in a plane crash.  Dead kittens in a plane crash and my grandmother naked…

Yeah, naked Grandma usually did the trick.  Returning my focus to Bella, I saw her staring blankly into her cup of steaming heaven.

“What’s up, Buttercup?”

Another PB reference, sort of.  I say this all the time, but the main character in PB is Buttercup, so quite possibly it’s a PB reference and I just didn’t know it.

She sighed again, and I waited patiently for her to speak.

“I don’t know exactly.  Maybe it’s nothing.  No, it wasn’t nothing.  It’s just not…quantifiable.  But it was something.  Unless…No.  Shit.  It was something.”

I rolled my eyes.  “Well, now that we have that all cleared up…”

She laughed a little then, the tension visibly easing from her shoulders.

“Sorry Edward.  It’s just, well, my meeting with Mike was…weird.  We were in his office going over the site map for the new UI, and…” her voice trailed off, stopping for a moment, before picking up again much more quietly, “…he shut the door.”

All the tension that had left her entered me, and then some.  There was no good reason a meeting between those two should be closed-door.  He wasn’t her manager.  He wasn’t HR.  They weren’t on a conference call.  They weren't friends.  Or...

“Why?” My voice sounded strained to my own ears.

“I don’t know.  Well, I mean, it was sort of—“

“Did he touch you?” I interrupted,  my voice hard.

She looked up, startled, then her eyes opened with a hint of curiosity.  My demeanour was making her suspicious.  Shit.  I tried to settle myself, calming my voice before I spoke again.

Just noticed the British spelling of demeanour.  Ooops...if you see things like that it’s cos they slipped through.  I’m Kiwi by education.

“Sorry.  But Bella, did something happen that—“

“Nothing happened, Edward.  It’s just…he just made it pretty clear he would like for it to.  I had no idea how to react.  You know me, I had to take remedial classes at the School for the Socially Retarded.”

I was expelled from that school.  I am, hands down, the most socially retarded person I know.

Normally I would have said something insulting, and mean, and we would have both laughed.  Something like "Yeah, you are kind of a bitch."  But my brain wasn't in that place right now.  My brain was working around a shit-ton of questions.

Then the other shoe dropped.  It hadn’t until this moment, occurred to me that she might want something to happen.  My throat went dry, a knot forming in the pit of my stomach.  Scrubbing my left hand through my hair – no wonder it’s always a mess! – I took a big chug of coffee, trying to give myself a minute to think.

But the coffee was fucking hot.  It scalded my throat going down, making me take in a gulp of air, which of course made me inhale the coffee. Let me tell you something I’ve learned about coffee over the years: Inhaling is the distinctly sub-optimal method of ingestion.

As I tried to reign in my choking, gagging, and other nasty sounds, Bella leaned back in her chair laughing – laughing – at me. 

After half a minute of me spluttering like a toddler in bathwater, she giggled out, “Edward, I swear, you can always make me feel better.  Your suffering — it’s like a balm to me.”

But I wasn't ready to joke about it.  I figured out, while I was gasping for life-sustaining oxygen, that I was fucked.  I'm either pissed at Mike and upset for Bella, or I'm pissed at Mike and all angsty-emo sad over Bella.  Which is stupid, because we're not together.  She doesn't want me like that. She's never shown even the tiniest hint of wanting to be with me other than as a friend.  So, what the fuck? She's not allowed to date?  God, where is this coming from?  Like I said, totally fucked.

"Edward?"  Bella's concerned voice broke me from my reverie.  "You look like a 418 error personified.  What's up?"

OK, now I had to laugh. "Bella, I am not a teapot.  That's not even a real error."

*sigh*  I really, really wanted to include the 418 error, but my friends/betas almost universally told me it was too geeky.  I took out most of the dialogue about it, and just left this. I think it’s fucking funny that they (the web coding standards folks) actually did, in 1998, create a new web protocol and the “Server is a teapot” error to go with it.  You know how web addresses start with “http”?  Well, that stands for “hyper text transfer protocol”.  A new one was invented that was the “hyper text coffee pot control protocol” and threw an error stating the server is a teapot and may, or may not, be short and stout.  I am of the firm belief that this is fucking hilarious.  Mostly I like the fact that Bella is calling Edward a teapot.  Yeah, I’ll shut up now.

"It's on Wikipedia, Edward," she said with absolute solemnity.  "therefore it's valid."

For those of you who aren’t aware, the information on Wikipedia is only as good as the person sitting next to you.  The information is user-managed, and therefore quite possibly wrong.  Bella is being quite silly here saying that because something is on Wikipedia, it’s verified or validated.  But she’s a smart girl.  She just wants to get Edward’s goat.  And by “goat” I mean “penis”.

I rolled my eyes, not even wanting to open the whole "truth about Wikipedia" discussion again. 

"I'm not a teapot.  I can't believe we're even having this conversation."  I wanted to get our "chat" back on track.

"So, how did things end with Mike?"

She looked wary, and slightly embarrassed.  "He, well, he made an...offer...and I didn't know what to do, I just froze, and so—" she flung her face into her hands, voice becoming muffled against her palms, "—God Edward, it was fucking hideous.  I just left.  I walked out — didn't say anything — felt like I was going to throw up, couldn't stop shaking, it was awful."

Relief washed over me.  She was uncomfortable, unhappy, and most clearly not pleased by his advances.  As ridiculous as it was, I wanted to jump up and down and sing a stupid song about birds or butterflies, or some Disney shit.

"I mean, we work together, for fuck's sake.  How awkward would that be?  Can you imagine?"

Oh, there it is.  The cold claw grabbed my insides again, and again I tried to reason with it, telling it she's not mine. She never was mine.  She will never be mine. It's not my place to get all stomach-achey over her.


Or have I said that already?

Geek Love - The Geek List: Chapter 1

Geek Love Chapter 1: In Which a Battle is Won

The explosion to my right sent me flying to the floor.  Bullet after bullet whizzed past my head, ringing as they struck the precious things around me.  It was a fucking automatic.  Dammit!  I thought I had the only one.

Bella is firing a Nerf Vulcan Automatic Heavy Blaster.  Nerf gun battles are a common thing in the geek world.  This scene was inspired by one we had just survived at my work.  They are not as cool a this scene though.  Mine is only a six-shooter.  But it’s really fun to hit the bald guys in the head.

My plush oversized microbes were the first collateral damage, one flying from its huge petri dish, landing with a splash in the beta's bowl.  The poor fish was confused – and rightly so – as it was attacked by a Microbe of Unusual Size.  The onslaught continued, and I seethed to see Brainiac the Remote Controlled Zombie fall.  He had put up a worthy defense, but ultimately was only as good as the man controlling him.  That man – me – was currently playing Cowardly-fucking-Lion, hiding under my desk.  Still the missiles rained down, taking good soldiers at every turn.  Boxing Nun fell next, taking Jesus Bobblehead with her.  Half-Dead Potted Plant was the last to fall, suffering a mortal blow as the desiccated soil spilled from its overturned pot.

You can get plush oversized microbes at Think Geek along with remote controlled zombies.  Like Edward, I also have a beta on my desk at work.  Her name is Mrs. McFlufferpants.  Boxing nuns and bobblehead Jesus can be found randomly online.

Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ how long is the ammo belt on that thing?!

In case you hadn’t gathered in from my pen-name, I’m a bit obsessed with Diana Gabaldon’sOutlander” series.  Her main character, Claire, says “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ” a lot.  This is my nod to her.

Suddenly I felt something warm and disturbingly wet dripping down the back of my neck.  Looking up I saw it was coffee.  Drip after drip was playing lemming on the edge of my work station.

Son of a bitch!  There was coffee all over the schema I had been working on.  That was my only copy.  Now I have to go talk to the asshat hipster kids in the Creative department in order to get another one.  Ugh.

In reality most of the people in our Creative department are cool.  There are some hipster kids, but they’re mostly OK (and they’re mostly writers, not designers).  This was more a reflection of my frutration at work that as a developer I don’t get to use the “good” printers.  Twatwaffles.  Just because we code doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate nice quality paper and some freakin’ color on the page, ya know?

Right now though, I had bigger things to worry about.  Like the twatwaffle who shot at me.  She was going to pay.

Looking around at the damage, I saw the Nerf dart soaking in the pool of brown liquid around my overturned coffee cup, ironically drowning in its own victim.  Anger wrapped its ugly fingers around my heart.  That right there is unadulterated sacrilege.  You don't fuck with my coffee.  Grabbing my own Vulcan Automatic Nerf blaster – stashed handily under my desk for just such occasions – I channeled my inner ninja and crept stealthily along the inner sanctum of my cube.

Coffee = sacred.  It’s my only religion.

Bitch.  Must.  Die.  Or at least be slightly bruised by the Nerfageddon I was about to unleash on her.  Peeking around the corner I saw nothing.  She must be hiding behind the half-wall of her cube.


Crouching lower, making sure my back and head were well below the top of the low filing cabinets, I crept along the wall towards the next set of cubicles.  Rounding the final corner, still crouched, I raised my weapon in anticipation of the hell-fire of terror I was about to unleash, when–

"Cullen!  What the heck are you doing down there, man?  I've been looking every where for you.  We need you in a status call with the client.  They're really hot to trot on this new interactive project and we need someone to speak geek to their geeks."

I work with someone like this.  But he’s an Art Director.  With a soul patch. *shudders*

Holy poop on a stick, it was Mike Newton – Project Lead and King Asshat.  I sighed, not bothering to disguise it and got to my feet, waiting for the gloating that was sure to come.  As I rose, a dark slender figure stood on the other side of the half-wall.  Hood pulled up, dark hair peeking out, she gave me the exact shit-eating grin I feared seeing.

"You're learning well, padawan.  But not well enough," Bella's voice was quiet but had an unmistakable ring of victory.

I had nothing.  She owned me this time.  Who am I kidding, she owned me always.  But just this once I might have had a chance had Mike "Fucktard" Newton not called me out.

"Coming, Cullen?  We're meeting in McD's."

All of our conference rooms had been named for fast food chains.  McD's was one of the biggest, with nasty-ass yellow walls.  I think the color was supposed to be "Golden Arches", but it turned out more "Baby-shit Mustard".

"Yeah Mike, I'll be there in a minute.  Let me just get my notebook."

Mike scurried down the hallway, his loafers squeaking on the polished cement floors as he went.  Turning, I spoke quietly, giving my words a solemnity appropriate to the occasion.

"You killed my Microbes of Unusual Size"

Yes, this is a Princess Bride quote.  They reference the Rodents of Unusual Size.  If you haven’t seen Princess Bride, please stop reading this right now, get in your car, and go rent it.  No.  Buy it. Now.  I mean it.  You will not be a complete person until you have.

"No I didn't Edward, they're only mostly dead."

Another PB quote.

She reached in her hoodie pocket, handing me a fuzzified almond M&M. 

"The chocolate coating makes it go down easier."

She offered the candy, clearly intended as a "miracle pill", to revive my Microbe of Unusual Size.  She was truly a strange girl.  I took it, holding back my comment on M&Ms being candy-coated, not chocolate-coated.  You don't fuck with a movie quote, even if slightly misused.  It's just rude.  Walking back to my desk, I put my Vulcan Automatic Nerf blaster down, frowning at the mess.

Aaaaand some more.

"I'll reprint the schema for you, Edward.  Sorry about that."

She sounded genuinely penitent.  It wasn't necessary – I would have fucked her up the same way if I had thought of it first.  But Bella Swan was always one step ahead of me.  Hell, who was I kidding. She was like four fucking steps ahead of me, at all times.

God she was a bitch.

And by "bitch" I mean "the most amazingly brilliant, funny, beautiful, wank-worthy woman, I will never, ever, ever have."


I had a client call to get to.

Did I say "ugh" already?

Running a hand through my disheveled hair I turned, walking down the hall towards McD’s.

Twenty four and a half minutes, three eye rolls, and eleven stupid questions later, I was just wrapping up the phone conference with our latest panic-inducing client and their equally bored, eye-rolling geeks, when I got a text message.

Perhaps it’s just marketing, but all client interactions seem to be panic-inducing.  I particularly hate being a part of these calls, as the questions are generally so absurd it’s hard to answer them without going “Gah, are you serious?!” every two seconds.

What ever you do, don't answer their questions.  It's exactly what they'd expect you to do.

I quickly typed my response.

It's too late for me, they know everything.  Get out!  Save yourself!

We did this goofy shit all day long.  It made my day — every day.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Fandom Gives Back

Buy a Geek Love out-take!

I am auctioning two items for the auction held by The Fandom Gives Back.
  1. A Geek Love "Drunklisle" out-take, fixed-price, $40 Purchased by TrixieTraci.
  2. A Geek Love custom out-take, auction-style.
Please contribute as much as you can to this amazing effort!  There are hundreds of amazing authors auctioning work, as well as some crafts, and other services.  I'm certain you can find something you didn't know you needed, but can't live without!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Geek Love - Sneak Peek at chapter 20

This is a tiny preview of the next chapter of Geek Love. I would post more, but I have a lot of re-writing to do.  I wrote most of chapter 20 last weekend, but decided 3/4 of it needs to move into chapter 21, and I need to write more of 20.  So, without further ado...
Glancing up from my little Disney birds-circling-my-head gaze at Bella, I saw her dad watching me, a familiar look on his face. I had seen that look on Jasper’s face, as well as Emmett’s and even my dad’s. They had all worn that same look when they saw me with Bella.

It said: Dude, you’re totally fucked.

I met Charlie’s expression with a shit-eating grin.

It said: Fucked and loving it.

Finally after Bella's eleventy-seventh curious look at the two of us, she finally spat out, "Which one did they replace? Or was it both of you?"

Charlie and I looked at each other, but seeing that neither of us understood the question we both turned back to her. She was drinking her watered-down diner coffee, scowling at us both.

Setting her cup down she blurted out, "Aliens!"

Geek Love chapter 20 will be up on or before Monday, November  23rd.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Geek Love - The Cliffs Notes

Once upon a time there were two fuckawesome super-sexy geeky people who were crushin' on each other, but too socially retarded to actually make a move.


There were many, many months of fwapping (him) and whatever the female version of fwapping is (her) going on.

Man, I wanna see him fwapping!

Then one day she gets drunk, pukes on him, meets his brother, and the world changes. He has an epiphany, finds his balls, and they <3 on each other.


But she has issues. Not just leeetle issues. She's kinda messed up. Not, you know, Robert Downey Jr. messed up, but still, pretty messed up. But she <3 's her geekboy, so she dumps her issues out on the table and they pick through them like crows in my trash can.

Fuck, I hate crows in my trash can.

Or Oprah in my trash can that one time I accidentally threw out a package of Ding Dongs.

Isn't Oprah like a jizzillionnaire? Can't she just buy Ding Dongs? They're like a buck.

So, anyhoo, these two crazy kids are doing a'ight, I think. You know, they're not smexin' or nothing, but they're getting along, <3 ing on each other, doing some making out, maybe a little feeling up, you you do.

Wait...jizzillionnaire?...What quantity is a "jizz", exactly?  

But then Miss Zombie-Lover decides it's time to Meet the Parents. Yes, they're gonna see Charlie. Aaaaaand... parental abuse of power ensues. But the boy mans up in an adorably sweet way, makes all the girls moisten their panties, and we say a collective...


And that's where we're at.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

"Cabbie, follow that blog!"

Occasionally I get questions about my fics. Mostly about zombies, or underwear, or zombie underwear, but sometimes about other stuff. Hopefully this will help answer any of those questions. And more.

So, the point is, if you want updates on Geek Love, or any of my other fics, follow this blog!

Oh, and if you haven't read my stuff, get on it!  Links are on the top right side of this page.