Sunday, November 15, 2009

Geek Love - The Cliffs Notes

Once upon a time there were two fuckawesome super-sexy geeky people who were crushin' on each other, but too socially retarded to actually make a move.


There were many, many months of fwapping (him) and whatever the female version of fwapping is (her) going on.

Man, I wanna see him fwapping!

Then one day she gets drunk, pukes on him, meets his brother, and the world changes. He has an epiphany, finds his balls, and they <3 on each other.


But she has issues. Not just leeetle issues. She's kinda messed up. Not, you know, Robert Downey Jr. messed up, but still, pretty messed up. But she <3 's her geekboy, so she dumps her issues out on the table and they pick through them like crows in my trash can.

Fuck, I hate crows in my trash can.

Or Oprah in my trash can that one time I accidentally threw out a package of Ding Dongs.

Isn't Oprah like a jizzillionnaire? Can't she just buy Ding Dongs? They're like a buck.

So, anyhoo, these two crazy kids are doing a'ight, I think. You know, they're not smexin' or nothing, but they're getting along, <3 ing on each other, doing some making out, maybe a little feeling up, you you do.

Wait...jizzillionnaire?...What quantity is a "jizz", exactly?  

But then Miss Zombie-Lover decides it's time to Meet the Parents. Yes, they're gonna see Charlie. Aaaaaand... parental abuse of power ensues. But the boy mans up in an adorably sweet way, makes all the girls moisten their panties, and we say a collective...


And that's where we're at.

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